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    TEPT

    Y de momento pasa Me acuerdo de ti dentro de mí Me acuerdo de ti en ese momento Me acuerdo que no te movías Te querían mover Ella te intentaba mover Me dolió No me imagino a ti Creo que puedo imaginar Te conozco Te conocía Estabas en posición fetal Te estabas protegiendo como podías Aún siento que lo recuerdas Extrañamente lo recordamos Hablamos de la realidad como un luto La teta nos salva ese recuerdo Te amo demasiado Nos amamos demasiado Pero nos duele Aún duele No estabámos listos Y la violencia siempre duele Aún así el amor nos mueve Nuestro dolor nos mueve Siempre mi hijo

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    PTSD

    And suddenly it happens  I remember you inside of me  I remember you at that moment  I remember that you did not move They wanted to move you She tried to move you  It hurted me I can’t imagine you  I think I can imagine  I know you  I knew you  You were in fetal position  You were protecting yourself as you could  I still feel like you remember  Strangely we remember  We talk about reality as a mourning  The tit saves us that memory I love you so much We love each other so much But it hurts us It still hurts We were not ready  And violence always…

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    Renacimiento: parir en casa con parteras

    1cm: Síndrome del nido, se siente como una gran locura. Estuve comenzando el trabajo de parto durante dos días y no lo sabía. Dilataba en mi casa mientras recogía sin ganas. Estaba tan cansada de hacer cosas para preparar la casa. Mi instinto ahora era de relajarme y descansar. A la misma vez, tenía que seguir ayudando en las tareas. Sabía que no podría luego hacer mucho. Y en contra de mi mejor juicio, me puse a lavar todo lo que me ‘faltaba’. No quería que mi esposo tuviera que hacerlo luego. Y mi dolorcito seguía. Yo escribía y lavaba. Recuerdo que me fui a dormir. Había salido el sol,…

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    Rebirth: home birth with midwives

    1cm: Nesting Syndrome, feels like insanity. I was starting labor for two days and I didn’t know. I dilated at home while I tidied up reluctlantly. I was so tired of doing things to prepare the house. My instinct was now to relax and rest. At the same time, I had to keep helping with chores. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do much later. And opposed to my better judgement, I started to wash everything that was ‘left’. I didn’t want my husband to have to do it later. And my ache continued. I wrote and washed. I remember that I went to sleep. The sun was…

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    Violencia Obstétrica

    Primera parte: Embarazo, Citas Prenatales y llegada al Hospital      1. Todo el embarazo fue perfecto. Murieron varias personas, sí. Tenía incomodidades, sí. Lloré, sí. La gente era muy difícil, SÍ. Pero mi bebé fue perfecto. Disfrutaba demasiado su compañía. Tanta ilusión cada día. Amé cada cambio, cada sensación. Le cantaba, hablaba, acariciaba. Era como la mujer embarazada ideal. Tirábamos fotos, (mi esposo y yo). Grabábamos videos. Le dábamos besos. ¡Qué mucho pateaba! Y yo, todo lo celebraba. Las volteretas me daban paz. Sabía que estaba vivo, saludable, bien. Dormía feliz mientras practicaban malabarismos dentro de mi. No me cansaba de él.      2. No sé ni por dónde comenzar…

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    Obstetric Violence

    First part: Pregnancy, Prenatal Appointments and arrival at the Hospital The whole pregnancy was perfect. Some people died, yes. I had discomfort, yes. I cried, yes. People were really difficult, YES. But my baby was perfect. I enjoyed his company very much. So much illusion every day. I loved each change, each sensation. I sang, talked, caressed him. I was like the ideal pregnant woman. We took pictures, (my husband and I). We recorded videos. We kissed him. How much he kicked! And I, celebrated everything. His cartwheels gave me peace. I knew he was alive, healthy, well. I slept happy while juggling was practiced inside of me. I didn’t…

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    You were born to be a Dad / Naciste para ser un Papá

    You were born to be a Dad. I have met good, shitty and okay dads. They always seem to lack. Society lets them off the hook, “He helps her out”, is the common phrase. But you are nothing like that. You’re a feminist without even knowing it, whether you like it or not; And you know I hate lying. You taught your sister to play basketball. You couldn’t care less if a child of yours turned out to be gay. You just love without thinking about it. You protect and not because you believe others are weak, But because you can’t help yourself. You give and give. You learned to…

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    The light / La luz

    In my first birth  With Violence something was taken  A light  I lost my essence  It happens a lot I was just one more Consequences of patriarchy  And society  I raised my son anxiously  Breathe … Connect … The boobs were my aid  They nurtured us both My son and I didn’t seem to forget The hours of separation that happened between us There’s always that scar The one you see  And the one you don’t  I celebrated his birthday  Too hard for us both With candles and no water My son is a beautiful champion  Another year passed The time needed to give it a try Then he asked…

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    To my midwives

         To visit Centro MAM is a total experience. And it’s all due to the quality of the women who work for this entity. I have to clarify that this is not my birth story. This is my small thanks to whom I will forever be grateful: to my midwives.      You ring the doorbell and someone opens without knowing who did it. And you enter through a garden that looks like, to my understanding, like that of a grandmother that used to have enchanted gardens. You continue taking steps until you get to the door, which is almost always open by a special being. And you find yourself in the most…

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    Hormones

    To my dear friends who made an appearance today… Not everyone might get you. Even I don’t sometimes. Regardless, I still love you’ll. I mean, you have been with me through it all. We have so much history together. I’ve even grown fond of your quirks. I have to admit, when I met you guys I wasn’t sure if I liked you or not. You turned my life upside down. I didn’t even recognize myself after spending time with all of you. You changed me… Honestly, why put a woman down because of her nature? It is exactly that what makes us women. It’s those hormones that inspire us, allow…